As we all know with spring training underway the cramps and muscle pulls will start to set in.
-A strict HGH healing program featuring twice daily injections.
-Rub vaseline on the inner thighs, this applies to all injuries(Although no medical benefit is achieved from this it is still required).
-Continue to overwork tired muscles: No Pain Gain
-A surprise punch to the face from a midget who will pop out at an unspecified time and place.(This will take your focus off of the area that is injured because you are extremely pissed at the midget.)
-Lastly for those of you suffering from a crippling emotional pain the only prescribed medication is binge drinking and sad slow songs.No questions asked.
Anyone choosing not to abide by the rehab program may be in breach of contract, and will have the status of said contract reviewed by the Russ' legal department.
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